


He never doubted how great he is for one moment

by FunWithPuns



Category: Oxventure (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bad Thoughts, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Most likely ooc but he’s had a nightmare and drunk so, Nightmare, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, can someone check on corazon?, is it implied? Idk, thought I’d put it there just to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22289182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunWithPuns/pseuds/FunWithPuns
Summary: Corazón acts like he’s better than everyone else mainly to keep the bad thoughts at bay, but nightmares have a way of bringing them back, at full force
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	He never doubted how great he is for one moment

**Author's Note:**

> Just trying to expel some demons and happened to choose corazon to deal with it all (sorry corazon)

_ Corazón looked around the place, as the surrounding area felt like it was spinning. He couldn’t tell if it was actually spinning, or if he was dizzy, because all he couldn’t actually see anything. He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. He’s probably drunk and needs to collect his senses. Then he opens them again. _

_ He’s back on the Joyful Damnation, with his adventuring crew. They were laughing and drinking together, and having a great time without Corazón. Ignoring the pang of sadness, from being left out, he strode over to them to also have a few drinks. _

_ He stopped when he heard what they were talking about. _

_ “God, it’s so great not to have Corazón around for once.” He heard Prudence groan, leaning back on her chair,”honestly, he’s not even that strong, or cool. He’s nothing compared to us.” _

_ Egbert hummed in agreement,”I don’t understand why he’s still with us.. he’s not really our friend, is he? I’m surprised Prudence hasn’t murdered him yet!” _

_ “It’s more fun to build up a ‘friendship’ with them, and see the shock and betrayal in their eyes as you murder them slowly and make them suffer.” She said, making the other three grimace at the description. Though it wasn’t a surprise that Prudence has thought about murdering him, she kills people all the time, but it felt like a punch to his gut that she, well none of them were his friends, but just keeping him around? Why? For his ship? Because they can’t be bothered to tell him to fuck off? _

_ He shook his head in disbelief. _

_ ”why keep me around?” He spoke up calmly, so the others could hear.  _

_ They all turned to face him. There was something about the way they looked.. they looked like themselves, but something was off. Was it the empty look in their eyes that unsettled him most? _

_ “Oh, Corazón. Nice of you to join us.” Merilwen replied instead, her chirpy voice now sounding fake and forced,”why don’t you join us.” _

_ Before he could point out that there was no fucking chair for him to sit down on, a chair suddenly appeared. They all stared at him expectantly, and alarm bells went off in Corazon’s mind, but he sat down anyway. _

_ “Nice little meeting you guys had hear. What, do you meet up each week to make fun of me and belittle me?” He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms,”yeah, I hear your conversations. Well, some of it, enough of it.” He hated how anger and hurt he felt, and the way that, despite his best efforts, the others could tell from his tone and posture. _

_ “Aw look, Cora looks like he’s about to cry.” Dob chuckled mockingly. _

_ “I’m not going to cry!” _

_ “You always do when you’re faced with reality. We can hear you cry in the captain’s quarters y’know.” _

_ “It’s pathetic really.” Prudence grunted, and Egbert nodded in agreement,”you’re just a weakling.” _

_ “Fuck off, I’m not weak!” _

_ “Then please tell us how much you’ve helped the group.” There was a pause, Corazón didn’t reply,”you know barely any magic, actually, no useful magic, you’re not very strong or smart or even charismatic. We all bring unique skills to the group, but you have nothing but this ship band what, maybe a bit of money? Not even your money, but what you stole from others.” _

_ “I’m stealthy, and I’m good with swords.” _

_ “I’m more stealthy than you Corazón when I’m a cat.” Merilwen pointed out,” and I can be a cat whenever I want to be. Being stealthy isn’t much of a skill.” _

_ “You’re pretty useless.” Dob shrugged, downing some of his drink,”I think your father was right.” _

_ A stab to the heart. Corazón gritted his teeth, the anger bubbling inside of him threatened to burst out. How dare he mention his father, and above all, side with him. _

_ “Don’t mention that asshole.” Corazón seethed. _

_ “Dude, you need to face the music.. you’re nothing. You’ve done nothing with your life, and you threw away your only chance to make a name for yourself, and actually make others happy. I bet you would’ve been more likeable if you stayed as Percy Milquetoast.” _

_ No no no, tears go away! He shouldn’t be crying. Fuck. _

_ “I would have been stuck in an unhappy life with a father who never loved me.” _

_ “And why do you think didn’t he love you?” Egbert asked, tilting his head to the side,”it’s because you’re a terrible son, a bit of a dick, and horrible to be around.” _

_ “It’s your fault nobody likes you.” Merilwen added,”family love each other. Your broken relations with your dad is all your fault.” _

_ He had subconsciously curled into himself as they spoke. The anger still pumped through his veins, though less so than before. Maybe they had a point. He wasn’t anything special. He was just a drunken asshole. No wonder his father hated him. _

_ He shook his head. No. He may be a drunken asshole, but it wasn’t his fault his father hated him. It was Lord Milquetoast’s fault. _

_ The scenery suddenly changed.  _

_ No longer were his friends.. wait, they’re not his friends, are they?.. no longer were the others there, but instead, his old crew. Alive. _

_ He didn’t know how they became flesh and bones again, but he didn’t care. They were no longer suffering from the curse, which Corazón couldn’t help but smile from that fact. _

_ But the smile was soon washed away when he saw them glaring at him. Not the ‘I hate you’ glare but the ‘I’m going to make you suffer and watch you die before me’ glare. _

_ He should have expected it, he was the only one to survive, their curse was his fault in the first place. _

_ He did deserve those glares _

_ “Well look what the cat dragged in.” Curly Joe drawled, making the rest of the crew, who hadn’t noticed him up to that point, turned around to look at him. If that didn’t send a shiver down his spine, then the fact that they were all wielding weapons, would have. _

_ Instinctively, Corazón took a step back, putting on an uneasy smile. _

_ “Curly Joe! You're human again!” Corazón said softly and happily,”you all are. You’re no longer cursed.” _

_ “Glad you noticed.” Jack Crackson piped up, with a dangerous glint in his eye,”flesh and bones. It feels wonderful.” Jack rolled his shoulders, before doing a couple of stretches, all whilst maintaining eye contact with him,”do you know what else feels wonderful?” _

_ Corazón didn’t know if it was rhetorical or not, so he opted not to answer. Alarm bells were ringing in his head, just like they did when he was with the others. _

_ “The feeling of murdering someone.” Jack answered his own question, and Corazón could feel his stomach flip,”the feeling of cutting into their flesh over and over, and how it’s so easy to take your sword out of them if you hit their muscle, but so much harder if you hit their bones. The feeling of the bone just crunching as your pierce you sword into it..” the back of his throat burning from a bit of bile that made its way up from his stomach. Corazón always removed his feelings when it came to killing, just ignoring the guilt that he ended people’s lives without a second thought, but Jack explained it as if it was something to take pleasure from. Maybe if it was an evil monster, Corazón would agree, but he had a feeling that Jack didn’t mean monsters. _

_ “It’s even better,” Jack carried on,”when the person you’re killing is someone you hate.” _

_ Curly Joe yanked him by the hair and there’s Corazón to the ground, elicating a pained groan from him, and a quiet string of swear words. When did Curly Joe move out of his sight?  _

_ His heart thudded against his ribcage as the stinging from his head and the dull pain from his sides, slowly went away. He wondered if his hair still looked beautiful or if Curly Joe ripper some of it out. _

_ He finally pushed himself up into a sitting position, only to be knocked down again, with a punch to the face. This pain took longer to go away, and he knew it was going to leave a nasty bruise. But he deserved it. He left them for dead. _

_ “Pathetic.” Curly Joe grunted, looking down at Corazón as the other man struggled to pick himself up. _

_ “He’s not even putting up a fight.” Jack huffed, kicking him in the shoulder harshly,”how boring.”  _

_ Corazón hissed in pain, grabbing onto his own shoulder. Hits like these usually don’t hurt him that much, he wondered why now they’re causing him pain. _

_ “If I fought back, I would end it quickly. it wouldn’t even be much of a fight.” Corazón spat out, taking his hand off his shoulder and finally pushing himself up. His comment earned a snort from Curly Joe, who pointed his rapier at Corazón, just centimetres away from his neck. His heart rate skyrocketed as Corazón held his breath. _

_ “Please, like you could put up a fight.” His blood ran cold as he watched Curly Joe lifted the sword and- _

_ Everything was dark again. _

_ Corazón reached for his neck, feeling for any wounds or scars or anything, but there was nothing. The rest of his body felt fine as well, the aching pain had disappeared. _

_ He was fine. At least that’s what he tried to convince himself as he tried to take deep breaths to calm his nerves. He nearly died. He nearly died to his old friends and they were taking pleasure from his suffering. No, they weren’t his friends either. They said so at the pub. They have tried to murder him, at least five times. They weren’t his friends, Corazón doesn’t have any friends, he’s only got himself. _

_ “I see you’ve done nothing with your life.” An oh so familiar voice said, in a disappointed tone. Corazón whipped his head towards the noise, and sure enough, his father was standing there, in his bedroom. _

_ Wait, bedroom? Why isn’t he on the Joyful Damnation? _

_ His father looked at him expectantly, waiting for some sort of reply from him, but Corazón didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to see this man ever again. _

_ “No response Percy? No witty remark?” His father raised an eyebrow,”I must say, at least your manners have improved.” _

_ “Why the fuck are you here?” Corazón asked, standing up and brushing off the imaginary dust on his clothes. His father always had a way of getting underneath his skin, he needs to remain calm. _

_ Like that has worked in the past.. _

_ “Why, I’ve come to check on my son.” _

_ “How kind of you. Surprising since you hired my old crew to murder me.” _

_ His father simply shrugged, taking a step closer to Corazón,”you know the Milquetoast legacy always comes first.” _

_ “Anything is more important than your love for me, it seems.” _

_ “Now now, I do love you. You had a house to live in, yes? You had lots of money, and servants, and horses. You had everything you could have asked for.” His father pointed out, using the ‘I’m pointing out the obvious’ tone that Corazón hated most. He could not remember how many times he had heard that tone, let alone had this conversation,”and yet you never listened to me. You wouldn’t act properly. Follow the path I created for you.” _

_ He quietly scoffed, crossing his arms, and looking at anything but his father. All he wanted was his father to show any sort of affection towards him, instead of belittling him or forcing him to do things he doesn’t want to do or ignoring him. How could he not understand that?  _

_ “Don’t scoff at me young man.” His father barked out, making Corazón look at him, surprised,”if you have a differing opinion then you should say it, instead of being disrespectful.” _

_ “Ok then. Yeah, you gave me everything I could want, if you could buy it with money, but you didn’t show any affection towards me. You never truly loved me, no matter how many times you lie and say you do. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have belittled me every waking moment when I was at home. You would have allowed me to do what I love, instead of forcing me to follow in your footsteps.” _

_ They stared for a moment or two, the air around them, which already felt cold, grew icy. Corazón couldn’t read his father’s expression, which unsettled him greatly. He usually has expressive eyes, he could always tell how pissed his father was, and could (usually accurately) guess what would happen next. _

_ But he saw nothing in his father’s eyes. _

_ “Well you’re living life how you want now, aren’t you?” Cold, calculated,”so, pray tell, how is your life now, hm? No friends, they all hate you because you’re rude, arrogant, full of yourself. Your crew have tried to murder you. All I had to do was pay them, and they’d turn on you. You break the law constantly and murder innocent people, and screw others over.” _

_ “I have friends that I can trust, who do care about me.” Corazón said, though he knew both he and his father could tell that that was a lie. _

_ “Ah yes. Clearly the warlock cares about you. Hasn’t she imagined how to murder you? Haven’t they all told you to, as commoners would say, ‘fuck off’, in one way or another?” _

_ “Well yes but..” Corazón shook his head,”no, you’re changing the subject. This was about how you act towards me, not about my life decisions now.” _

_ His father chuckled, condescendingly,”alright then.. you’re a disappointment, every time I looked at you, I could just see how disobedient you were just from your face. I expected you to be grateful for everything I gave you, but you weren’t. Still aren’t. You’ve just convinced yourself to blame me for what happened, when it’s clearly your fault.” The switch in his father’s behaviour caused corazon’s heartbeat to increase. Gone were his fake politeness and predetermined responses. Now his father was being himself.  _

_ “Every punishment I gave you, you deserved. Every time I belittled you, it was justified. Every time I did not give you attention, it was justified.” His father walked closer with each step, and as Corazón tried to move away, his father grabbed his wrist. It was painful enough for Corazón to know it will leave a mark,”all you had to do was listen to me. Do as I say. Be a Milquetoast. But you were an ungrateful, spoiled child, who did not want to do as he was told. It is your fault I acted the way I did. If you had just been an obedient child, you would not have had to deal with any of that. Maybe then, I would have loved you.” _

_ Corazón closed his eyes, trying his hardest to not to be affected by what his father said. After all, it wasn’t corazon’s fault.. Maybe some of it was his fault.. maybe all of it was his fault. Maybe his father was right. Maybe everyone is right.  _

Waking up was an odd feeling. It felt like he was drowning, but finally had his head above water, being able to gasp for air for the first time. The adrenaline still coursed through his body as Corazon’s mind slowly started to remember his dream. Well, nightmare.

He wondered how he couldn’t not tell that it was a nightmare sooner, with the scenery constantly changing, the people being cartoonishly evil, and of course, his old crew being humans. Yet it all seemed so real to him.

He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to fall asleep once again, but for some reason his body did not want to. Almost as if he was scared to fall asleep and suffer through that again, which was stupid, because Corazon doesnt get affected by stupid nightmares like that, that easily.

‘Disappointment’ ‘useless’ ‘it’s your fault’

Corazón clutched his head, cursing at himself, or rather his mind.

Since he could not get back to sleep, maybe he could have a drink. That should make him feel better. At least when he’s drunk, he can’t think properly, which means the thoughts will stop.

Yes, that would work.

He got himself out of bed, and put on his coat before heading out of his quarters, not bothering to check to see if the others were around. They were probably asleep by now, so they won’t be able to bother his drinking session. Not that they would care if he got himself shitfaced, they were used to it by now.

After about 10 minutes, give or take, he managed to get to his storage room, and searched around for alcohol. He wasn’t going to be picky; if it could numb his brain then it’s good enough for him to drink.

‘Miserable failure’ ‘disrespectful’ ‘it’s your fault’ 

He grabbed a bottle, probably a wine bottle if he had to guess, and popped the cork, before downing the contents. It was much more bitter, and stronger than wine, which almost made him cough it all up, but he forced himself to keep it down, even if his throat ended up hurting unbearably. He groaned quietly to himself and closed his eyes, letting the fuzzy feeling slowly envelope him. Ah, the amount of times he’s felt like this, dulling his senses. maybe he was destroying his body with his habits but who cared? He wanted to live a fun life, not a long one!

He rummaged around for another bottle, and smiled to himself when he grabbed one. It seemed only half full but he didn’t care, just started to drink it. It left a bitter tang on his tongue, yet slightly fruity as well. It must have been one of the more expensive wines. Sober Corazón will be mad.

Oh well!

‘Drunken asshole’

Corazón groaned to himself, covering his face with his hands, silently praying for the thought to stop bouncing around his head. No no no, go away. Why won’t it go away? They shouldn’t be bothering him!

“Cora, is that you?” He heard someone call, making him pull his hands away and look at the door, frozen. Corazón watched as the dim light slowly grew brighter, forcing corazon to squint, until he saw a shadowy figure, holding an oil lamp.

It was Dob.

The two stared at each other for a few moments. Corazon couldn’t read Dob’s expression, even though Dob wore his heart on his sleeve. If that wasn’t annoying.

“You ok there?” Dob asked softly, making him roll his eyes.

“You’re not my mother Dob. You don’t need to check on me.”

Dob frowned, eyes lowering to the floor,”Apparently I do. Seriously, a whole bottle of whiskey, and that wine you barely ever let us drink. Why is that one empty?!” 

‘Maybe your father was right’

“Just grabbed it and drank it.” He responded, maybe a little too defensive for his own liking.

Dob walked over, and picked up the bottles,”Egbert could use these i guess, for bombs. Those bottle ones.. what are they called? Molotov cocktails? Funny name.”

“Yeah yeah cool. Now will you leave?”

Dob glanced at him once again, at let out a small sigh. Corazon could have sworn the look in Dob’s eyes was one of pity, and possibly.. Concern? No, that couldn’t be right, he is not his friend. 

“You can talk to me when you feel down, instead of…” he paused for a second, as if trying not to offend Corazon,”drinking your sorrows away.”

Corazon hummed, just about resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Seriously? He knows that Dob doesn’t want to deal with Corazón, drunk or sober.. but he did sound sincere? That couldn’t be right..

Dob waiter a few moments, presumably waiting for a proper answer, before turning around and leaving the room.

Left alone in the dark room, corazon curled up into a ball, gritting his teeth, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall. Fuck, how did he forget that alcohol made him more emotional? Each and every time.

‘Useless’ “fucking useless.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not happy with the ending really, so I may write another chapter with a happier ending, if I feel like it needs it.  
> Anyway please leave a kudos and a comment, if you want.  
> If there’s any triggers that I’ve missed, please say so. I don’t want to hurt or upset anyone


End file.
